Remember the marijuana dispensary where Marv did a face plant? Of course you do, that was just last week. Well, the boys decided to give it another shot. But your intrepid creators, who actually did a field trip (without either of us falling down), were wondering why was the place called Wellness? Andy and his wife just stayed at a “wellness hotel” in Brooklyn (the Even Hotel, which is a little odd, paradoxically) and there was nothing but a bunch of exercise equipment in each room, including a foam roller and a yoga mat. And of course, an array of non-caffeinated, herbal teas. Now if that was wellness, how could a store selling pot in all its new guises, be part of wellness. Why don’t they just come out and say, “this one is a light, easy high, and this one will really get you fucked up?” Why instead do they talk about “states of relaxation and creativity boosts?” After our careers in advertising, we have a good idea. Because the second thing sounds therapeutic and good where the first one sounds hedonistic, which is … bad! It’s like in politics where you don’t say you are for or against anything. You say “I think it’s a matter of each state choosing individually.” Here we’re not about getting high, perish the thought. We are about “Wellness.”

Our other script this week comes out of a well-intentioned bath that Andy was giving his then-toddler daughter Ali (sorry for embarassing you Ali, but heck, you were just 2 or 3 years old.) Anyway, Andy, who at the time was writing a script for a Pillsbury commercial, brought home a squishy rubber Pillsbury Doughboy, which Ali immediately named “Doughby.” Doughby instantly became one of her favorite bath toys. As Ali was playfully splashing around, Andy noticed Doughby had a lot of water sloshing around inside him. So Andy helpfully suggested he wanted to fix Doughby, lifted him out of the bath, calmly pulled his head off and dumped the water back in the tub. Ali’s completely normal reaction is forever captured in our second comic. Rumor (and a very highly placed rumor at that) has it Andy is still smarting over that one.

That’s all for this week, and enjoy the weekend, all 110 degrees of it.

Andy and John