What is it with John and me and drugstores? And why am I asking you when I can easily ask John? Or myself? Okay, I’ll tell you why it is. Because when you get beyond a certain age (hint, it’s the age specified in the name of our comic strip) you find you have to visit the drugstore with increasing frequency. And there’s so much to love about the process. There’s the fact that you don’t have the right loyalty card or the ridiculously long receipt with offers (if you bother to read the damn thing) for things you actually want because you’ve bought them before. But they also expire before you ever get a chance to act on them. Well with the world spinning ever more crazily out of control, Marv figured one way to get the best of them. Why not plan on making two trips to the drugstore instead of the normal one? Figure you buy something cheap the first time, like a bottle of water. Then you come back the very next day with your coupons from the day before (surely coupons can’t expire that quickly) and load up on toothpaste, mouthwash, body wash, razor blades—the whole kit and caboodle. Genius right? I don’t actually know if it works (John thought this whole nefarious plot up in the first place), but it seems like it’s worth a try. Yeah, I know it’s a waste of time to have to go to the drugstore an extra time, but hell, we’re in our 60’s and beyond. Trust me, if there’s one thing most of us have, it’s time. Truth be told, I went to the drugstore two times in one hour last week. The first time I bought whatever it was that I came to buy but after approaching the register, I realized I had left both my wallet and phone back home. No, I’m not THAT much of an idiot (I had gone out for an exercise walk, and don’t like to weigh myself down with extra accessories I don’t anticipate using), but upon reaching the cashier I told him, “No problem, I can recite my credit card number by heart,” to which he replied, “But I can’t enter the number manually, only digitally.” I walked home, bitched to my wife, who responded, “Just get in the car and go back there with your wallet and take care of it, you’ll feel better.” And so I did. And so I confess, she was right. I also completely forgot about the floor-length coupon that came with my purchase. But we digress. The point is, if I’m willing to go twice in the same day without a damn coupon, then I can surely go twice in two days, WITH the aforementioned coupon. And now that we have that straight, let’s move on to our second comic.

The germ for this idea happened to a buddy of mine. He was on a call when his wife walked in the front door in mid-conversation on her phone. He overheard her say things that gave him pause, “You know, I’ve had it, I am so done with…” He took a deep breath before she mentioned the guy’s name, and miracle of miracles, it turns out she wasn’t talking about him. I told John and we pounced on that one right away and called it “Guilty Conscience,” because, after hearing a string of horrible attributes, why would someone think it was about him? In fact, John suggested that our character, Joanne, should say things like “he only thinks about himself,” which made me wonder, was he talking about me? I think of other people. I often ask them what they think about what I’m wearing.

Okay enough for this week. Onto the Super Bowl where this particular guy would not be surprised by a Cincinnati Bengal upset. Of course, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Rams blew them out either. How’s that for taking a stand? See you next week with two new ones.

Andy and John