Irregardless is not a word. But what happens is people misuse a word enough and Merriam Webster suddenly considers it a word. A writer named Gilbert Highet famously said “Language is a living thing. We can feel it changing. Parts of it become old, they drop off and are forgotten. New pieces bud out, spread into leaves, and become big branches, proliferating.” To which a writer named Andy Landorf says, “Yeah, but irregardless is still not a freakin’ word.” There’s so many other examples, each of which sends a “nails on the chalkboard” reaction down my spine. This summer a nephew joined us for dinner at a beach house we rented. He’s a gourmet chef and was giving his knowledgeable advice about how to prepare the meal. I was asking him questions the whole way. But then I asked something like, “a whole handful of salt,” to which he replied, “Not a whole handful, don’t overexxagerate.” I immediately pounced. “Overexaggerate is not a word.” And then he pulled out his phone, looked it up on Merriam Webster and sure enough, overexaggerate is an accepted word. If you can’t underexaggerate, you can’t overexaggerate. If you dear readers disagree with me, you can always comment on the blog and send us your arguments. We’d love to hear from you. Just as long as you don’t say “for all intensive purposes” or “I could care less.” It’s intents and purposes and if you could care less, then care less.” Personally, I couldn't care less (well, I could but you get the point). The final example, I promise, was drilled into me in 8th grade English class. When you are quoting somebody, you say, “Quote (then comes the quote)followed by end quote. Not “unquote”. I was taught that “unquote” meant to undo the quote, whereas “end quote” was the way to signify the quote had ended. Merriam Webster finds “quote unquote” just fine thank you. So all this stuff I’ve been railing about all these years is, for all intensive purposes, nonsense.

Anyways (yeah, I know), the other comic about “stores we’ve outlived” is a New 60 twist on stores that have gone bust. It’s one thing to say “Remember those stores? Now they’re gone.” And it’s quite another to say “stores we’ve outlived.” As if Sears Roebuck and Bed, Bath and Beyond beat us to the finish line. But that’s a race we’ll gladly lose every time.

See you next week with two new ones, and I do mean two. That’s not an overexaggeration.

Andy and John