I’m sure we’ve all been through some form or other of changing the “experts” we’ve come to depend on in our lives. Many of us inherit a doctor, lawyer, dentist, real estate agent, insurance agent, stock broker, financial analyst, etc, because these were the same people that helped our parents. The thinking goes, “If they were good enough for mom and dad, well then they’re good enough for me.” Except when they’re not. Case in point, some 40 years ago I was helping an older relative move. When somehow the expected windfall from selling her apartment wasn’t nearly as large as she thought it would be, I asked her what happened? She replied that her accountant (also her parent’s old accountant, emphasis on the “old”) named Harry Hammer was no longer with us. Why I remember his name, I do not know. Anyway, Harry had died and so she had nobody to prepare her income taxes. I inquired if she knew how long ago he died, and she calmly told me, “I think it was about 10 years.” Turns out she was right. You ever hear that commercial where the announcer says, “Be afraid of the IRS. Be very afraid?” I think it’s for Optima Tax Relief. The point they were making was you needn't be afraid because you have Optima. Well my relative didn’t have Optima or Harry, so… Things worked out in the end, and now, 40 years later, we can laugh about it and so can you with our first comic.

The next one was also based on reality. How many of you were little kids and witnessed your mom and dad lying in order to get away with something? My dad said I was 5 when they let kids 5 and under go free to the movies. He also said I was 14 (I was 12) when he took me to a James Bond movie that said you had to be at least 13 (PG-13 ratings didn’t become official until the 1980’s when I was substantially older than 13). Morally I was bothered by him telling the usher I was 5 when I was almost 6 3/4, but when it came to being told I was older than I actually was, well, that was cool. On one hand you think, “What kind of message am I giving my kids?” when on the other it’s “Ooh, maybe I could save five bucks.” So I made a point never to do that with my kids (who by the way are a little closer now to a senior discount than they are to being 5). Should you cheat in order to gain an edge or should you always do the right thing? The answer seems obvious. But I remember having this exact moral dilemma on an almost daily basis back in 1974. I was a junior in college, taking a semester abroad in London. My routine was the same every weekday when class was in session. I would get up, have breakfast and run to the subway (tube) stop where I was invariably late. In the station was a newsstand from which I bought the International Herald Tribune every morning. Remember the Trib? Remember newspapers? Anyway, if I was late, I would sometimes leap the turnstiles in order to catch the train. But on my way to the turnstile was this newsstand and the guy who worked there was blind. I would never cheat him. Ever. Even if it meant missing the train. And then it occurred to me, why did I think it was okay to hop the turnstile but not to cheat a blind man? And I guess the answer is because the London Transit Authority, actually called TfL (Transit for London) was a faceless entity where the newsman had a face I could see every morning. By the way the TfL is currently on strike, inconveniencing millions of Londoners so screw ‘em. Not really.

My wife and I had an incident with our then 2 year old granddaughter last Memorial Day. We took her to the local amusement park, Playland. She had her heart set on riding the carousel, which she called, “The Up Down.” When we got to the ride, it turned out she didn’t reach the red line over her head and the ticket taker refused to let her on, which resulted in tears. You can’t lie about height. But maybe the next time we go, we’ll get her some high-heeled sneakers.

Our advice is: When you take a child or grandchild to the movies, pay up and tell the truth. Or better yet, stream the damn movie at home. Have an excellent weekend and we will be back next week with two new ones.

Andy and John