Calendars used to mean one thing. There were Playmate of the Month calendars, Sexy Fireman of the Month calendars, and plain old calendars that your mom used to hang up on the wall. Each day had a box and on each box was written the appointments for the day. Pack school lunches 8 am, grocery shopping 9 am, dentist appointment, 11 am. And unless you were a hopeless day drinker (that’s a phrase I wasn’t even aware of until my friend Matt Fischer accused me of it when I wrote him “lmk” instead of “let me know”), most people managed to keep up with these appointments. Even though they were written in pencil or pen, they were written in stone. Nowadays (is that even a word?) things are “written down” electronically. Heck, we even have calendars on our phones. But it seems to me that electronic plans are worth the paper they’re written on. In other words they’re as likely to be canceled as they are to be kept.

John and I have both had extensive dental work done in the past year. Crowns, root canals (trust us, they ain’t beautiful like Venice canals) periodontal cleanings that are worse than filling cavities, you name it, one of us has had it done. And just like the comic, if we had to change the appointment or the dentist had to change it, the next available appointment was months in advance. This is no joke. I had an appointment with a nutritionist (I prefer burgers, dogs and pizza to dark, leafy greens and vegetable medleys) in January of this year. They gave me an appointment in May. I said yes but totally forgot we were going to Greece in May. It was impossible to coordinate a time that worked from Greece so I rescheduled and the earliest they could come up with was late July. At least I think it’s late July, because I can no longer find it on my digital calendar. Sigh. I guess there’s nothing more to be done except to throw a couple of Impossible Burgers on the grill, topped with cheese and not the vegan kind. Although my extremely healthy daughter tells me they have as much saturated fat as the real thing, so on second thought…

Have a great weekend and we’ll see you next Friday. Don’t forget to mark it on your calendar.

Andy and John