Labor Day used to be the worst day ever. For six torturous years (7th grade through 12th) I used to dread it with all my heart. Loved college. High school, not so much. It was grueling, competitive and all-boys (which really sucked). Labor means work yet on Labor Day most people are not working. As a grandmother of mine used to say, “Go figure.” Actually, because she was a New Yorker, it came out more like “Go figyah.” In any case Al, who has a lucrative Pizza-on-a-Stick franchise (who wouldn’t want one of those?) has to be open on Labor Day. I once worked with a guy who just moved to New York to work in the ad agency where I already worked. He protested having to work over 4th of July weekend and was so pissed off he carted multiple sand bags up to his office and dumped them on the floor, installed a beach chair and beach umbrella. Absolute truth. When the powers that be came in and saw what he had done, they fired him. Which was bad for him, but at least it meant not having to work for the rest of the summer. Note to all you employers who force their staff to work holiday weekends: the Labor Day (or any day) bonus is not such a bad idea. Even if it came from Al.

Our other comic, with the Employee of the Month contest, shows that the pathway to hell is paved with good intentions. Awarding a hard-working individual with an Employee of the Month award is a well intended idea, but ask the people who didn’t win what they think of the idea. And if they’re of a certain age, like the people who work at Al’s fast food establishment, chances are they grew up in the age of “participation trophies.” Everybody wins. I coached youth sports in the years my now 35-year old son was in grade school. At the end of the year everybody who played recreation league soccer (everybody gets to play an equal amount) got a trophy. The kids who scored 2 goals per game, the great defenders who ran full tilt all game long, the goalkeepers who dove to bat a shot away, and the daisy pickers who cared more about the flowers than the game. By the way, did you know daisies are weeds, not flowers? On the one hand, it’s nice for everyone to be included. On the other, you didn’t do anything to deserve the damn trophy in the first place. One time I had a mother complain that her son was heartbroken that he didn't make the travel team. I explained that it was competitive and there were other players who were better. She said, “How is that possible? He won a trophy every year.”

In any case, goodbye Labor Day and goodbye summer. John might be out there kicking a ball around. Me? I’m going out to pick some daisies.

Andy and John