Helpless HelpLine 10/07/22

Hi again. It’s your New 60 fellas back with the end of the “Help Line” series. As I wrote last week, more of these incidents happen to me instead of to John, but this week we’re doing two comics about something that has plagued us both. Yes, it’s true, you have to be profoundly untech (is that even a word?) to allow yourself to get hacked. But waiting on a computer helpline, well that’s something we both have suffered through as has everyone who has ever owned a computer (press 1), a tablet (press 2) - no fellow Luddites, not the Bayer Aspirin kind of tablet, or a smartphone (press 3). The evil computer company seems bound and determined to keep you on the line without speaking to a person as long as humanly possible. For me, they keep me on long enough to start cursing and hitting the “0” button (mistakenly thinking that stands for “operator”) while shouting, “Agent, agent, agent, okay representative, representative, representative,” until someone gets on and tells you that you’re been connected to the wrong number, they don’t handle computers issues, but if you are patient while they put you on hold for another 23 minutes and 13 seconds (but who’s counting?), they will connect you with the proper department, when you will have to once again explain the reason why you are calling. Is this any way to run a business? Or do they just hate talking to customers so much they’ll do anything to avoid it. I guess I can understand that too. I heard about a couple that called a TV repairman to fix their Apple TV, and when he got to their apartment, he asked them where their Apple remote was and they didn't know. Then he asked them their Apple password and of course they didn't know that either, so I can understand the frustration of the techies, but c’mon guys, give use a break, especially if we’re over 60 years of age. John envisioned the larger than life ending of Al screaming “noooooo,” so loud, it reverberated throughout not only the neighborhood, but also the entire tri-state area.

A special note of thanks to David Ockene, a, proofreader extraordinaire, who has been patiently reading the New 60 blog for all 3 years of its existence. He would always write us emails pointing out the various affronts to grammar and the English language that I’d make on a weekly basis. Finally one day we asked if he would consider proofreading the blog out of the goodness of his heart, and he responded with, “I was just about to suggest the same thing.” My wife and I finally got the chance to meet David and his lovely wife in person. We all love to point out what is wrong with social media, but David, you’re all about what’s right with it. We wanted to give you a heartfelt thanks for your efforts.

See you all next week,

Andy and John