Having a Blast. 06/30/23

With summer now officially underway it’s time for the beach, the pool, amusement parks and their soggy clones, waterparks. Now I don’t know about you, but it seems to me with all these places, that the scarier the rides, the more people like them. Count me out. I once went to the Atlantis Hotel and they have a massive water slide called The Mayan Temple. You climb up several flights of stairs and then rush down on a stream of water almost vertically whooshing between two shark tanks at the end. My kids said, “C’mon dad.” I refused. My 12 year old daughter said fine and bravely went by herself. Then my 9-year son said, “C’mon dad.” I refused. Finally my wife said, “C’mon Andy.” I refused. And she went down by herself. Now before you call me a wimp, I’ll let you know I’m still thinking about going down. Still haven’t reached a final decision, but if we’re ever back at the Atlantis Hotel, you can bet I…will think about it. At any rate we wondered how Al would react when his grandson wanted to go down the slide we named The Big Kahuna, because Mayan Temple was already taken. And look what happened to Al. An epic wedgie. Ya know what? On second thought I thought about it and I am not going down the Mayan Temple, even if we go back to that hotel (which I’m pretty sure we won’t). Anyway, if you know anyone in my family, please don’t tell them about this. Just keep it between us.

The second comic is straight from the life of John. This actually happened to him and he actually got out his trumpet and played it for the nice caller who was asking for the 14,000th time about his extended warranty. His patience was clearly not extended. And listen, you can try and get rid of these annoying callers by blocking the number, but then they just call on a different number. And I wonder, does this scam actually work? Now I did get scammed last year and ended up giving a hacker access to my bank account, but they tricked me into it. Who on earth would believe that pitch about their extended warranties expiring? Obviously it works on a lot of people, otherwise these folks wouldn't keep making these stupid calls. But as long as you’re going to do it, can’t you think of anything more believable. like, “Hi Grandma, this is Billy and my car broke down and mom and dad aren’t home. Could you wire me $100 bucks?” Maybe that’s not so believable after all. I guess that’s why they keep going with the extended warranty. But please Extended Warranty Callers, leave us and all readers of The New 60 out of it next time you try, because we’re on to you. And if you reach John, he might blow out your other eardrum.

Have a great weekend and we’ll be back next week with two new ones.

Andy and John