Apps Schmapps 06/09/23

If artificial intelligence weren’t bad enough, we are also confronted with an onslaught of apps. Take my attempt to watch the Mets - Braves game the other night. In hindsight I shouldn’t have bothered. My family and wife’s extended family (24 people in all counting grandparents, parents, and children) are on vacation in South Carolina. Each family rented a house. In our house are several tv’s including a big one no less than 70” in the living room.

On this particular night we were alone, and after we put our granddaughter to bed, my wife asked me if I wanted to watch a movie. “Sure,” I replied. I then picked up one of the two remotes in front of the tv (or smart tv monitor, if you want to get technical) and pressed a button saying “Netflix.” Simple, right? Wrong. I then was asked for the password from the owner of the house we’re renting and of course I had no idea of that one, so I signed in as myself but it turns out myself has no account on this particular dumbass tv, err, I mean smart tv monitor. So after several attempts on Amazon, Prime, Hulu, etc I gave up and we read books. Real books too, not the iPad versions.

Then our kids came home and I attempted to watch the Mets game with our son. He managed to download the Major League Baseball App (which he pays for) after at least 20 minutes of trying. After he finally, heroically sets it up, he clicks on Mets-Braves and a message pops up…”This game cannot be shown due to a contractual obligation with another network.” Really? The other network, it turns out, was TBS. We change the tv channel to TBS by saying “TBS” into the smart remote and what message are we confronted with? “Tonight’s game on TBS cannot be shown in your area due to contractual obligations.” You have got to be f@#k*&g kidding me.

But then I said, “Wait, I pay for the Mets network, SNY at home. So after another quadrillion steps I downloaded the app and we got to watch the game. On my little iPad. And this is supposed to be the future. Just one more gripe and I will leave you to enjoy your weekends and hope I come down from being pissed off so I can enjoy the rest of mine. My wife and I bought a one year subscription to Peacock, so we could watch the first four seasons of Yellowstone. Which we did. If you haven’t yet had the pleasure of watching something on Peacock, you pay a subscription fee PLUS they make you sit through commercials. I know, I know, John and I made a living writing those commercials for most of our adult lives, but now that we’re out of the business, we hate being interrupted by ads as much as you do. At any rate, when Season 5, the supposed final season, came around, it wasn't on Peacock. Yet. It would be if you were patient enough to wait 6 months. If not, you had to buy a whole new streaming system, Paramount+. Don’t you hate the + sign? It always means that the regular thing you pay for won’t include what you really want to watch. That is only available on +.

Okay, I'm finished ranting this weekend. I’ll be back home and we’ll be back to you with two new comics, but they’ll only be available on TheNew60+. Nah, just kidding. Have a great weekend.

Andy and John