Self Help 11/07/24

It’s kinda funny. John and I came up with the idea of Marv getting a pedicure a couple months ago. Knowing that the blog this week would feature this comic, and wanting to experience it for myself, I asked my wife to include me when she went for a mani-pedi this past Monday. So I went. At some point the manicurist asked if I wanted clear polish on my nails. My dad used to do this regularly and I thought he looked too polished. But, for the first time in my life, I said yes to clear polish on my fingernails and toenails. On Wednesday I was scheduled for a foot operation to remove a neuroma from the bottom of my left foot. When my wife and I looked over the pre-op instructions (actually she looked them over because I only kind of looked it over) it states on the bottom, please remove all nail polish prior to arrival. So I do this thing once in my 71 years on this planet, and it was not a good thing to do. I said,”I can’t believe I did that. What now??” And she replied, “This is a cotton ball and this is a bottle of nail polish remover. Put your foot up here.” It may seem obvious to you, dear readers, but I was temporarily thrown for a loop. Now I’m in an ace bandage and walking shoe, and there’s no way to put polish on my nails even if I wanted to. And I don’t.

Our other comic deals with Al babysitting his grandson. On the one hand, we want to follow our children’s leads, you know, “make sure he goes to bed no later than 9 pm,” “no candy after 7,” stuff like that. But on the other hand, we’re GRANDparents and our job is to spoil them At least a little. So my granddaughter stayed with us on the weekend before Halloween weekend. We live in an apartment building. She went flying down the hallway and came to a stop at the last apartment. There was a neoprene statue of a ghoul holding out a tray of free Halloween candy. She chose a “fun size” pack of M&M’s. First time ever. My wife, wanting to spoil her but still adhere to our daughter’s wishes, let our granddaughter eat half of a fun-size pack before bed. Then we put the remainder of the pack on a shelf. A low shelf. Upon waking the next morning, Charlotte or “ChaCha” as we like to call her, came up to us and said, “I found the M&M’s. And I ate them” That’s really the best outcome because you tried to be responsible but she got the best of you. Not your fault. Not even a little bit. Our daughter got us back however. When she and our son-in-law came to pick their daughter up, our daughter left us with a big bag of the trick or treat candy that they had collected on their trick or treat excursion. M&M’s, peanut M&M’s, bite-size Snickers bars, KitKats, PayDay, Almond Joy, Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, and more. Now I don’t know about you, but having that bag of candy is pretty damn hard to resist (believe me, we haven’t) so how can you expect a 3-year old to do it?

We will be back next week with two new comics and a blog which I’ll write as soon as I stop eating this last MilkyWay.

Andy and John