On Bourbon and Beards. 12/9/24

Happy December everyone. I have a rule, actually a friend of mine had the rule and I stole it: clear liquors in the summer, brown liquors in the winter. I’m all about the perfect gin and tonic when the weather’s warm. And a nice scotch or bourbon when it isn’t. But I’m not a purist. John is a purist. Me, I like my scotch poured over one of those massive ice cubes you see in fancy bars. John takes it neat. For you non-drinkers out there, neat means poured straight from the bottle. Real men drink neat. Kevin Costner in Yellowstone would pour his Bulleit Bourbon (wonder how much they paid for product placement) neat several times an episode. I wonder if he’s still drinking it now, but I have to wait since I don’t have the proper level of Hulu t5o watch the end of Season 5 apparently. But I digress. So John went to a party, the host asked him what he’d like. He said, “Bourbon, neat.” At this the host’s eyes lit up and in a conspiratorial whisper, steered John to a special cabinet where he kept “the good stuff.” When John relayed this to me, we thought we’d flip the idea on its head and make the host think this guy was a real man’s man, only to find out he wasn't. One other story on a similar subject. My wife and I throw an annual New Year’s Eve party. One of the couples lived a long drive away and slept over that night. The husband of this couple is a big oenophile (wine lover and expert). He brought wine and champagne for the party and then gave us a bottle of champagne, just for us. The following morning I took out his bottle of champagne, a bottle of fresh-squeezed oj and thought I’d serve mimosas for breakfast. My friend looked at me and said, “You’re not planning to use that for mimosas are you?” To which I replied, “Oh no, just rearranging the fridge” while trying to slyly put the orange juice and champagne away so he wouldn’t notice. The couple went home after breakfast, And as soon as they were gone I turned on college football and drank mimosas. Now I’m stuck. If my friend reads this blog, he’ll never bring me a bottle of good champagne again.

Which brings us around to Craig’s beard. We all do it. Women with different hairstyles and colors, men with a big beard, no beard, perpetual two-day-growth beards (I still don’t know how somebody can maintain a two day growth) goatees, etc. So Craig tries a new beard on. He thinks it makes him look cool. His friends think it makes him look like Santa. Any similarities between Craig’s full, white beard and John’s full, white beard are of course purely coincidental. And speaking of beards, there was a time when my kids went off to sleep-away camp. I decided to shave my head and sport a two-day growth of beard on my face. We got to camp, the kids didn’t recognize me, and both started to cry. That was the end of my trying to maintain a two-day growth, something may son-in-law manages with seemingly no effort. Finally, congratulations to my daughter Ali and son-in-law Mark on the birth of their second child, a beautiful, bouncing baby girl named Emma, weighing in at 6 lbs, 11 ozs.

Have a happy December and we’ll see you next week,

Andy and John