There's No Waffling When it Comes to Breakfast 07/26/24

Did you ever wonder why it is that the more expensive a hotel is, the less they offer for free? You go to a Motel 6 or Super 8, you get free wifi, free cable, and free breakfast. You go to a top hotel, (which we used to do all the time in advertising) they offer fast wifi for $15.99 a night. And for breakfast you can order a $6.00 cappuccino, $21 dollar scrambled eggs (at least the toast is free) and a $9.00 side of bacon (turkey bacon is better for you but requires a $2.00 upcharge). Water? That’s on them unless you want bottled. Oh a little fruit, you ask? Try our fruit cup, which we call a fruit salad, for $14.50. But who cared? The company was paying. Then came holding companies who bought up all the independent ad agencies and made them more “efficient” by firing all the back office workers, and cutting down on how much meal money the employees could charge when they were away from home, in a hotel, and had no choice but to eat out. One of my favorite memories was when I tried to save the company money. I took my laundry to a $10.00 wash and fold laundromat. They handed back my laundry, warm, fluffy and neatly folded for $10.00, as advertised. Trouble was they gave me a hand-written receipt on one of those little green pieces of lines paper you get at diners. I turned the partly-smudged, hand-written receipt in to accounting, and they disallowed it because it wasn't a computerized receipt. I had to eat the $10.00. Lesson learned. Next time I was at the same hotel shooting a different commercial, I had the hotel do my laundry, because they gave computerized receipts. The bill? I kid you not, was $212.00. The company accepted that with no questions. Maybe if they tried allowing hand-written receipts they wouldn’t have had to fire so many workers. Just sayin’.

But onto waffles. This week’s comics are from John’s experiences. I am more of a bacon and egg or breakfast burrito guy (we were always shooting commercials in LA, so they had breakfast burritos instead of breakfast sandwiches). John, as it turns out, is a waffle man. If you are not a waffle aficionado you will likely find that making a waffle with a hotel waffle maker is a complicated experience. And if you want your waffles, it is apparently painful to watch somebody who is in front of you, figure out how to make their waffles. So Marv, who has this in common with John, helps the guy in front of him. Partly because he’s a nice guy. But mainly because he wants to make his own waffles already, dammit! Truth be told, John and his wife attended an out-of-state wedding this weekend, and managed to find a hotel with a waffle maker. We came up with the idea (really he came up with the idea) of doing a two-parter about waffle makers and this past weekend he lived up to the comic. What isn’t clear was whether he put the butter on before the syrup or vice versa. He’s not telling.

Anyway on to the Olympics. Have a wonderful weekend, and if you’re reading this over breakfast, try adding some sliced bananas on top of your Eggos.

Andy and John