Ahh Nature...

Who among us doesn't like nature? Who among us would admit it if we didn’t like nature? Shellie is a city girl. I grew up as a city boy. So I get her. And John gets Sam. Some people know how to pitch a tent. I know how to pitch a baseball. And not that well, mind you. Years ago I took my young son on a baseball trip across the country. When we got to Detroit to see the Tigers we went to their stadium, Comerica Park (what the hell is a Comerica anyway?), and in one of the concourses they had a pitching machine. You stood on a mound 60’6” away from home plate (just like in the big leagues) and throw a baseball while a speed gun tracked how fast you could throw. My son, in his young teens, got up and fired one in at, if memory serves me right, around 62 mph. I chuckled softly and said something like, “Pretty good for a kid. But watch this.” I wound up and fired the ball and the radar gun hit…48 mph. And it hurt my arm. And my ego. Anyway, back to nature. Must we?

We must. My wife and I rent a beach house every summer and we love the idea of eating outside at night. Surrounded by nature. The house has outdoor speakers so you can play music while you eat. The pool has solar lamps around it and the pine trees are backlit. It’s a beautiful setting. Here’s the usual dinner drill: We have guests over. We go outside to set the table, rough-hewn and cut from a tree, place the plates and napkins and wine glasses, light some candles while the grill is grilling something healthy like salmon (except for July 4th and Labor Day when it’s burgers and dogs all the way). We bring out the salad and appetizers and then people start slapping at their necks, their arms, their legs, etc. It’s the damn mosquitoes. Oh we’ve tried citronella candles, an electronic device that emits a “non-toxic mist guaranteed to keep the bugs away,” and then invariably we ask, “Would everybody be happier taking their dinner inside?’ At first there’s a tentative, “If that’s what you want,” which immediately turns into a groundswell of “Yes!!!” as everyone runs inside, nature be damned.

I think the point is (is there really a point?) not that some people abhor nature. It’s that they’re simply uncomfortable around it. And yeah okay, some people abhor nature. You either grow up in a house in the country with two dogs or in the city with none. Where other people see wonder and beauty in a baby fawn, others see…deer ticks! Let me tell you, having suffered through a near fatal case of Lyme disease in my early 30’s, deer ticks are no picnic, (although I think I got my deer tick bite during a picnic). So while Shellie hates the thought of bats, she hates the mosquitoes even more. Somehow we think she’ll survive. And that little Sammy’s relationship to the great outdoors is shaped more from his dad than his mom.

So have a happy 4th of July. After finishing this blog, I am headed out to commune with nature on the beach. Just me, our guests and the great outdoors, covered with a spf 50 sunscreen, a large, floppy hat, sitting on a Tommy Bahama beach chair under a matching Tommy Bahama umbrella. which no ray of sun is capable of penetrating. Until our party of four decides to pack it up a couple hours later, because, you know, too much sun.

Have a great holiday,

Andy and John