What Else 'Ya Got? 09/27/24

What else ‘ya got? Boy do I hate that response. I once worked for an ad agency that shall go nameless. When it came time to present storyboards or scripts to my GCD (Group Creative Director), he’d say, “What else ‘ya got?” Not anything nurturing like, “I think it would be even better if your character said it this way,” or “What if we change it so the kid gets the last laugh instead of the mom.” No, just “What else ‘ya got?” Which is a snarky way of saying something snarky. Like “This idea sucks, do you have anything else?” I truly disliked that agency. And the lazy jerk who kept saying that. So when John and I talked about this idea of Al trying his magic finger trick on Sam’s son Sammy, it was only natural to have little Sammy come back with “What else ‘ya got?” And I’d be willing to bet we’ve all been there. No, not in that horrible, abusive ad agency. But in the situation when you meet a friend’s grandkid and decide to show off your “magic” skills. Pulling a coin out of the kids ear. Or my favorite riff off that move: tell the kid you’ve got a piece of candy and hold out both fists, asking him or her to guess which hand it’s in. Meanwhile it’s in your back pocket. So when the kid finds out it’s in neither hand, you say, “Wait a minute, I think I see it as one hand looks in the kids ear and the other pull the candy out of your back pocket, transfers it to the “ear hand” and say, “Oh here it is!” Works every time. Until they turn 4.

Onto our other comic this week. Explaining tech to someone who has no possibility of understanding it. I’ll give you an example. When cellphones first came out, I got one, but never used it. I didn’t really understand it. My partner at the time was a good 15 years younger than me and had a cell phone which he used constantly. He once called me at work and I didn’t answer. When we later ran into each other he said, “Where were you? I called. Why didn’t you take your phone?” I replied, I was in a meeting and I left my phone in my office.” He shot back, “It’s called a mobile phone, right? You’re supposed to take it with you. That’s what makes it mobile!” He had a point and I have taken it with me ever since. Now fast forward to today. I am reasonably conversant in technology but not nearly as much as John is, who, I’m loathe to admit, is five years younger than me. But when this tendency really became absurd was at a birthday dinner for my stepmom and her then 95-year old boyfriend, Ron (name changed to protect the innocent). Amongst the guests was my son-in-law Jeff (name changed for the same reason), who heads up the artificial intelligence division of a leading tech company. We were having a discussion about A.I. (artificial intelligence, not Allen Iverson) and its possible uses and misuses when my stepmom says, “Jeff, can you please explain A.I. to Ron?” That was unintentionally one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. I shared the incident with John and we turned it into Marv trying to explain tech to his mom. As I say this, followers of this blog may remember how I inadvertently allowed a hacker into my bank account a couple of years ago so I’m not as savvy as I might sound. By the way, someone tried it again on me just yesterday, but this time I caught it. As a public service, in case any of you ever find yourself in a similar situation, here’s what they do. You get an email of a charge for $800 for something you know nothing about. You call the attached “Helpline” and they listen to your woes, then ask you to give them control of your computer, at which point they tell you they’ve fixed it, but just to make sure, can you go into your bank account to see it you’ve been credited the $800?” Now who would be dumb enough to fall for something like that? Never mind.

Have a great weekend, and if you know of some good new magic tricks I can try on my 3 1/2 year old granddaughter, let me know. She’s already caught on to the hand trick.

Andy and John