Stuff We All Get (in other words, SWAG) 02/28/24

We’ve all been to parties and galas, PTSA events, events honoring a friend or relative, and most of these events feature goody bags, or what the industry calls SWAG. Hell, even weddings and bar mitzvahs now come with a little bag of goodies like candy bars, “health” bars, cashews, raisins, water, blah, blah blah. I don’t know about you, but all these PTSA-type meetings give me PTSD. Anyway, they almost always include SWAG. In fact, my wife participated in this industry called “Promotional Products” for 30 years. She knows SWAG. John and I even talked to her about NEW 60 promo ideas. Who wouldn't want to have an Al coffee mug with a scowling Al and a clever message like, “World’s Grumpiest Grandpa,” or a lunchbox with a picture of Marv biting into a BLT? Once we figured out we’d end up stashing 1,000 mugs in our garage, and that we live in an apartment with a public garage, we shut the idea down. But OSCAR SWAG, well that’s a different story. What does Bradley Cooper need with a new Porsche SUV? Or Emma Stone with a new piece of Cartier jewelry? Or take Mikey Madison of Anora fame. What does she want with a new Vera Wang dress? On second thought, forget about it. She can have anything she wants. At any rate, John came up with the free refill punch line, and seriously, as I take notes on this blog, a waiter at City Limits Diner is pouring my son and I our third ice tea refills. So Bradley Cooper and Brad Pitt, you’ve got nothing on me!

Our other comic is about how corny all these Hallmark Cards are. Even the supposedly funny Hallmark “Shoe Box” series. Consider this offer on Amazon for the Shoebox Funny Birthday Card Assortment. Just 12 cards for the unbeatably low price of $9.75. Yeah, we know, we’ve spent far too much time in advertising. A frequent tactic of mine is to think outside the shoebox and buy a card that was meant for another occasion, like a sympathy card when a friend turns 50 or 60 or 70 or…okay I’m gonna stop there. So John and I went for the cross-out technique, even though a knee replacement is far different than a hip replacement, it’s the thought that counts, right?

Have a great weekend and we hope all your body parts, whether they are original equipment or replacement parts, are in good working order,

Andy and John