On two topics that change with age, work and sex 07/23/2020

Let’s start with sex, because, why not? It’s one of those topics you think about constantly in your teens and twenties, talk about with your friends, and seek out constantly. All the models and images you see are people in their 20’s and maybe even 30’s but not much beyond that. Except maybe Jennifer Aniston. But then as you get older, you settle down. Get married. Have kids. Which makes you even older. And more tired. And after a certain age, it’s not a topic you’re talking to your friends about. At least not very often. Which leads us to today’s first comic. One of us (named John) was at a dinner party when a conversation, much like the one in the comic, actually occurred. If that same revelation happened in your twenties or thirties, you might be inclined to ask, “Costumes? What kind of costumes?” At least I’d be inclined to ask that. Truth is, I still am but now l know better than to ask. So sex is still in the air, but now it’s lurking in the background. One of our favorite strips ran a couple years ago. Craig, our confirmed bachelor, was about to have sex for the first time with a woman he was dating. She asked, “Lights on or…” and before she could get the last word out, they both proclaimed, “Off!!!” Telling us what kind of costumes you wear to “keep it fresh” is something we can hear on a “need to know” basis. And we don’t need to know.

The second strip deals with going back to work. It may not have been the greatest to begin with, but now that you’ve been used to working from home, do any of us really want to go back to the office? Back to running for the commuter train during rush hour? Or sitting in your car in bumper to bumper traffic? Or listening to your 32 year-old boss drone on about the vital importance of search engine optimization? Sure you may miss the comraderie, but the rest of it? And now add plastic partitions, indoor mask-wearing, and recoiling in horror when you’ve absent-mindedly touched something. Quick, anyone have some Purell? My forearm touched the banister!” For these and other reasons, Marv is counting down the days until retirement, or even worse, involuntary retirement.

So keep it covered, wash often and we’ll see you next week with two new comics.

Andy and John

Happy 4th of July 07/03/2020

Happy 4th of July. Just think of the possibilities. You can gather up the whole family, kids and grandkids and go to the ballgame, or if it’s hot, a trip to the pool or better yet, the beach. And afterwards you can all enjoy a trip to your favorite restaurant or have a cookout at home. But wait a minute. There are no ballgames. And unless your governer is in denial, he or she has already closed the public pool and the public beaches not to mention indoor dining. And that stuff about the kids coming over? Well you can’t invite the kid who went into the office last week but had to quarantine since someone in her office contracted the virus three days ago, and then she can’t bring her husband or the kids so there goes that idea, etc., etc., etc. Which is how John got the inspiration for his poster, a socially distant 4th. At least there’s Hamilton on Disney +, so thank goodness for small favors.

But onto the next one about watching TV at home with mom or mom-in-law. I kept telling John about Ozark, this awesome series on Netflix my wife and I binge-watched and he kept saying, my mother-in-law is here for the time being and she won’t appreciate the language, violence and nudity. So we came up with our second comic, mom friendly TV. The day before we posted it, I was in Pittsburgh with my wife at her mother’s house and we came home after dinner and wanted to watch a movie. Well there’s only so much Hallmark Channel a man can take so we went with our friend Sandy’s advice and watched a Mark Ruffalo movie, “Begin Again.” Joanie’s 98 year old mom watched with varying degrees of interest, and when it ended, I asked her if she was okay with the language. Now in 37 years of knowing Joanie’s mom Charlotte, I can say I have never heard her curse even once. But when I asked if the language was offensive she said with a nice smile on her face, “No, it didn’t bother me. It was all fuck this and fuck that and fuck you. Nothing I haven’t heard before.”

What else can I say, besides have a Happy 4th and we’ll talk to you again next week.

Andy and John

SEX AND THE SPATULA 1/17/19

Hi Guys

Welcome back. As we kick off our second year, we thought about one of our favorite topics. No wise guy, not food, sex. Like love and relationships in general, passion takes on different dimensions the older we get. This idea came to us, shall we say, naturally. Our “Then and Now” format seemed like the perfect way to handle the subject.

The second comic deals with internet gadgets. One thing is that most of them are plain dumb to begin with (not my carbon fiber eyeglass cleaners, mind you, but MOST of them) and the other thing is that many people in their 60’s have downsized to smaller houses or apartments. Which brings us to a second issue, where do you store all the dumb gadgets you bought? We already dealt with that one in a past comic, just pay extra for a storage unit. And the third thing is that the more time you spend at home, the more likely you are to see these ridiculous products and be tempted by them. I mean, who WOULDN’T want a Square Strike Wedge that makes chipping as easy as putting? Who could resist an egg-let that lets you hard boil eggs WITHOUT the shell! (exclamation point is from the manufacturer, not us! Oops, I mean, not us.)

So this weekend, spend less time with infomercials and more time with thenew60 (notice the subtle plug there)?

Have a great weekend

The New 60