Twins, twins 9/16/21

Twins are nature’s way of saying, so nice, let’s do it twice. On the one hand, you get over the process of having a complete family more quickly, but on the other hand…

What if they’re not on the same sleep schedule, feeding schedule (well that would be technically challenging since there’s only one mom and two kids) or pooping schedule? So John and I decided to have a go at another three part series, called Twins Come Home, parts 1, 2 and 3. So why do they appear on the website in reverse order, you ask? That may be because someone has not figured out how to put them in, in the correct order. One of us, but that particular person, if it happened to be me, should be given a pass today because it’s Yom Kippur and because that person happens to be fasting, and because being hungry makes that person pissed off and because that same person is expected to write a sunny and funny blog while he’s hungry and pissed off, capiche? I’m not saying that person is me you understand but if it were, that is how I’d react.

Oh yeah, the comics. Part one was last Friday featuring the exhausted parents and the calm, cool and collected grandparents. We can afford to be cool because we get to sleep through the night and not be awakened every 3 hours or so. So we imagined what would happen if the grandparents offered their services as babysitters for a night. We imagined the bedraggled couple would accept their offer rather quickly.

This summer, my wife and I shared a beach house with our daughter, son-in-law and their new baby. They wanted nothing more than a night off to feel human, go to dinner and a movie, and we wanted nothing more than to hang with the baby and put her to sleep. A win-win if there ever was one. Which leads to the part 3 comic, in which no sooner do the parents leave, than the baby starts shrieking. This too comes from personal experience. I recounted to John how my daughter asked me to babysit for one half an hour while she got on a phone call about a potential freelance job. My wife was working, my daughter and son-in-law were working so it was just me and the baby for 30 minutes, from 2pm until 2:30. I couldn’t wait. As soon as my daughter got up from the living room the baby started crying. I picked her up to soothe her. She cried louder. I rocked her in my arms, she began to shriek. Doors opened from other rooms, what are you doing to her? Nothing! I swear! I took her outside so nobody could hear anymore then when she calmed down I walked back into the kitchen to see how much time had passed. It was 2:08 This went on for the rest of the time, outside, inside, me: oh look, this is a tree, these are branches, want to shake the branch, go ahead, shake it…2:12

Finally, mercifully, my daughter’s phone call was over a few minutes early and she came out to her daughter who suddenly was all smiles and sunshine. When my daughter asked how it went I said, “Fine,” even though everyone in the surrounding zip codes could hear it wasn’t fine. John turned this story into Twins, part 3, even though you see that comic first, is that clear? Yeah, I don’t understand it either.

Enjoy the weekend a lot more than I am enjoying this freakin’ fast. And we will see you next week with two new ones, not about the twins.

Andy and John

Sonny Starts and Sam's a Free Man 5/21/21

Becoming a grandfather for the first time in your 60’s is a wonderful experience. Becoming a father for the first time in your 60’s? Not so much. At least not in our limited imaginations. So we show Sam in his attempt to be a househusband and he fails spectacularly. That’s one element of our story. The next one is the search for a babysitter or nanny, if you will. So we decided to go against type. Instead of the typical au pair from a Scandinavian country, we decided to go with a big guy with two sleeves of tattoos who has been recently released from prison. And, of course, he happens to be an impeccable choice. On a personal note I happen to have a son with two sleeves of tattoos who happens to be great with kids, though thankfully, he’s not a prisoner.

Our ex-con Sonny studied child psychology while he was in the pen and has a chance to show off his skills. As a babysitter/nanny, he beats the hell out of Sam, who has never been to prison either (at least not as far as we know). And now, a brief respite from the land of funny into the land of serious. These days there is a rash of violence between people just because somebody looks different or comes from a different country or speaks a different language or even has an accent. Sonny is our small attempt to say don’t judge a book by its cover. And yes, you CAN teach an old dog new tricks.

We will see you guys next week with two new ones featuring a return visit from one of our most popular characters, Al and Joanne’s son, Sid.

Have a great and (at least in some areas) maskless weekend.

Andy and John

Sam Embraces Fatherhood 5/14/21

Being a new father is exhilarating, life-altering and exhausting. But what about if you’re in your 60’s? Luckily, neither John nor I would know, but what follows is what we imagine it would be like. This series is informed by friends of ours who are first time grandparents in their 60’s. It’s pretty much the same experience, except you don’t get to give the kid back to the real mommy and daddy once the weekend is over. In Sam’s case He IS the real daddy. I have a friend who started taking off Fridays so he could help his pregnant daughter by babysitting her toddler. My buddy and his granddaughter had a great routine culminating in lunch at the diner, followed by nap time. Yeah right. Grandpa and his granddaughter would head back to his daughter’s house and lie on couches facing one another. He would put his granddaughter’s favorite blankie around her, and take another blanket for himself. It’s debatable who needed the nap more. Actually, it’s not very debatable at all because each time my friend would feel himself drifting off, his granddaughter would get up off the couch and pull his blanket off, giggling. This went on for a long time before she finally wore out. And by that time, he was toast. That was with one grandchild. Now there are two, and instead of playing man-to-man he was forced to switch to a zone defense.

Our second comic features the other 60-somethings commenting on Sam’s absence from their diner crew. A guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do, but somehow, someway, he’ll get a babysitter and then life can go back to normal, or at least he can join his buddies at the diner once a week. Is that too much to ask? Not only does a newborn add a lot to life, it also adds many a plot twist to your favorite comic strip. You’ll see them in the coming weeks. Sam got more than what he bargained for but he and Shellie and his buddies at the diner will all figure it out. Or, as the Beatles once famously sang, Ob-la-di, ob-la-da/Life goes on, bra…

See you next week with two new chapters in the continuing saga of Stay at Home Sam.

Have a great weekend,

Andy and John