On Football and Loyalty Oaths

Loyalty. We hear a lot about it these days, but to us it often seems like a one-way street. The store, the cable company, the politician, they all want your loyalty but don’t show you much of the same in return. This particular comic came from a trip John made to his local CVS. Being the good and loyal CVS customer that he is, the cashier asked him if he had a CVS loyalty card and the answer was yes, he did. Upon showing the card in question the cashier went on to tell him about the CVS CarePass Card, an even better way to show your loyalty. It came with a host of mouthwatering benefits like having your prescriptions delivered straight to your home. All for the low, low price of ONLY $5.00 per month (or the even LOWER price of $48 if you sign up for the year). The point is, there’s always something better out there, and you don’t have it. Now John and I didn’t spend over 70 combined years in advertising to see what’s really going on at CVS. Seems like there’s this little competitor out there called Amazon Prime, who coincidentally offers free shipping straight to your door for the low, low price of ONLY $119 per year! It’s a steal!! Or how about American Express. Got an Amex Gold? Well good for you, here’s a Platinum. But wait, there’s an even better one. Amex Black, for only $10,000 per year you can have so many benefits like first dibs on tickets to the next Ariana Grande concert. Who could resist that? And what about the airlines? If you are a loyal frequent flyer you get priority boarding. Which sounds great on paper until you realize you come after the 67 other groups that have more priority than you do. You know how to avoid all that? Just pony up an extra $1,000 or 2 to fly first class. I hear that even comes with pillows and blankets. Now that’s loyal. By the way, the final frame and joke on our drug store comic was a none-too-subtle shout-out to our friends at American Express.

And that brings us to the guy’s weekend. You could not have had 4 more exciting football games in one weekend. The final Sunday game between Kansas City and Buffalo is being called the greatest game ever played. I always look forward to that particular weekend every year. I used to watch with my son when he still lived at home, then later flew out to meet him wherever he happened to be living. But this year, with Covid and all, I thought I’d do something at home. Just like the comic said, my wife went to visit our kids and grandchild, knowing I’d be glued to the set. After making a bunch of calls, I ended up with a massive pot of chili and one friend to help eat it. When my wife came back we managed to kill it off over the course of a couple dinners, but c’mon. The excuses! Plans with children, grandchildren, shopping, weekend retreats, what is this world coming to? Everything is so complicated. Take the case of John, who dutifully recorded the KC-Buffalo game before going out. He came back and watched the whole thing before realizing it was the AFC Championship game from last year. Ooops. Fortunately, he got over it in time to see the end of this year’s game. And that my friends, is a wrap.

See you next week with two new ones.

Andy and John

Back to School and Other Fun Topics 09/11/2020

Imagine if you had a kid going back to college. What would you do? Spend up to $70,000 so he/she can sit in a dorm room with a mask and take classes online? And what if you’re a professor like our character Craig? You might think you know your students, but do you really? Craig imagines (hopes) they’ll be on their best behavior. What we imagined? Animal House. Just a quick aside. As I write this today, I may be a bit distracted. Two reasons. One, there’s a crane working outside with a power saw that sounds like either a high-powered dentist’s drill or a gigantic fly. And there’s an actual fly bugging the shit out of me flying around my apartment as I type. Excuse me for a minute. Finally, he’s dead. No, not the guy with the saw, the fly. The fly ended his life being swatted by an issue of People Magazine. At least it’s good for something. But back to college or back to school virtually. I know how I was in college and I know how my friends were back then and it seems like socially distant, responsible behavior is a lot to ask from a bunch of 18-21 year olds. On the other hand, we understand the need for community. This first comic tries to capture the dichotomy.

Next up was what we imagined we might do if we had to get on a plane. My wife’s mother is still alive and turned 99. She lives either a 45 minute plane ride or 6 1/2 hour car ride away. We drove. Let us count the reasons it’s scary to fly. No, in fact let’s not. Instead I will tell you why I am reluctant. One morning, I saw Dr. Joseph Fair, the head infectious disease specialist for NBC on the Today Show. Only he was doing the segment from his hospital bed, where he was recovering from the Coronavirus. He wore a mask, he swabbed down the seats and all the fold-down tables in his row. He was asked how he got it after all those precautions and said, “My best guess is I caught it through my eyes.” Okay, that was enough for yours truly, even though I wear glasses. Maybe if they come up with a hip stylish hazmat suit (anyone for camouflage?), we’ll hop on a plane. But until then, have a wonderful fall and we hope your football team, wherever you live, wins the SuperBowl. As long as it’s the Giants. Okay, John likes the Jets, so them too. And if you’re from somewhere else, don’t worry, neither of our teams has a prayer.

Have a great weekend,

Andy and John

On football and the holidays 12/27/19

We sent our annual holiday poster out early for Christmas and Kwanzaa and late for Hanukkah, managing to offend everyone. It also gave us a cute hook for the holiday poster. And we always post to Facebook on Tuesday so that’s the real reason we were both early for some and late for others. That and the fact that Andy enjoys being offensive sometimes. On RARE occasions.

Our best comics come from personal experience. Either John’s when he tried to fix a car by himself or this week’s strip, based on Andy’s season tickets to his beloved NY Giants. His dad took him to every home game starting when Andy was 7 years old.  Andy later took his little brother. And then there was an 8 year hiatus when Andy attended college in St. Louis and followed it up with grad school and his early career in Chicago, but besides that, it was Giants football come rain, sleet or snow. He went with his cousins and buddies. Then came his wife and daughter who sometimes went but usually under protest, except when Ali was too young to realize she hated it. Then came his son Greg and he took to it like a fish takes to water.

Then Andy hit 65. And started to feel the snow and the cold and the wind. And he thought about how nice it was during away games to watch on his hi-def, big screen tv at home. Hanging with his friends and his son’s friends, listening to the announcers point things out he’d never realize on his own. Followed by the growing realization that his time for braving the elements, prepping for the tailgates, leaving the house at 9:30 and not coming home until 5:30 or 6, was slowly coming to a close.

This comic is about football tickets but it’s about so much more. It’s about giving in to age but going kicking and screaming every step of the way. Kind of like Andy himself.

Happy Holidays and we will see you next week,

Andy and John

This week's comics and other stuff 9/17/18

A lot of our ideas we make up from our own heads. A lot come from stuff that happens to us or our families. And a further source of ideas is having our friends engage and suggest new ones. Not all of them are good, but sometimes, something somebody (that’s three “some” words in a row, if you’re counting) says leads in another direction and then becomes a comic. Last week, a buddy of John’s responded to a comic we wrote about a 5-pound jug of paprika. He shared how he would always drink the extra large soda at movies, with predictable results. BAM! We had a comic figured out in the next 5 minutes. My step mother shared an idea about an older man who had a hot car. A young woman commented on IT, but not about him. Bingo, the next day we had our character Craig thinking a young woman was interested in him, when she was really interested in fixing him up with her mom.

About a year ago, a friend of a friend went into a restaurant to get a table from a hostess he thought he had charmed, until he read her (less than flattering) description of him. Now THAT, we thought, has to be a comic. A two-part comic no less.

A fantastic source of comedy is 60-something guys feeling, hey, we’ve still got it. Because in our heads, we still do. But then every once in a while, reality sinks in. Like last week, when I walked across a street with a don’t walk sign, a portly driver in a mini honked at me and shouted out, “Hey watch the light old man!” Being the mature older gentleman I am, I responded, “Eat another donut, fatso.” But the knife was in. Old man. Who was she talking about? Surely not me.

Which brings me to the NY Giants. They are the living, breathing proof that I’m not an old man. An old man wouldn’t care about a stupid football team so much, he’d consider spending a sunny day indoors, right Michael Grieco? An old guy would never even think about passing up a trip to South America because it was during the playoffs, would he? No. And if by chance I was describing myself, my utter immaturity would prove I’m not an old man, get it? Okay, it didn’t make that much sense to me either. I still go to the games and yell and scream as if I were much younger. And I still care wayyyy too much whether they win or lose. But even in the escapist world of sports, as the song goes, there’s always something there to remind you. Case in point: I grew up watching Archie Manning play for the New Orleans Saints. Years after his retirement, I watched his sons Peyton and Eli, play professional football, Eli with my beloved Giants. And now he’s getting old. The talk is about his retirement. Yikes.

At least we can always feel young in our hearts and heads, or as Bob Dylan sang, Forever Young. But man oh man, is HE getting old. Enough from me. I’m gonna work on turning back the clock.