Superbowl Weekend

I walked into the local grocery store today and they were out of pigs in blankets. I have a rule, there can be no Super Bowl party without pigs and blankets, but shhh, don’t repeat that to my cardiologist. I wonder what he’d think about a cousin of mine who serves cocktail weenies, or as I like to think of them, pigs without blankets. Are they healthier? Anyway. back to my cardiologist, he’s a subscriber but he never reads this stuff so I think I’m safe.

Super Bowl parties have two kinds of people: 1) The ones who are big football fans all year long and can’t wait for the championship and 2) the ones who are big fans of parties. And never the twain shall meet. One time, many years ago, I went to a Super Bowl party when my beloved Giants were playing. I turned to somebody at the party who was paying attention, and said, “Can you believe they went for it on 4th and 1? He had no idea what I was saying. I was home by halftime. My wife opted for a friend to drive her back home after the game.

The other thing about Super Bowl parties is the commercials. The non-football fans stop talking and gather around the tv for commercials and the halftime show. That’s about it. And here is the thing about being a football fan like me or John, while simultaneously being ad guys, or more in touch with the times, ad people. Come to think of it, it’s a good thing Mad Men was set in an age before political correctness. Mad People just doesn’t have the same ring. But back to the part about being in advertising. Since the party tends to quiet down and pay attention to the commercials, they then invariably turn to people like John and me and ask, “Whaddya’ think about that Dorito’s commercial, and then you have to think of something to say that sounds really smart and insightful, “Yes it was a very funny premise, but do you remember what product it was for?” That always impresses.

Hope you have a great Super Bowl weekend and that your favorite team wins,

Andy and John

On Gender Reveal Parties and Emotional Support Animals 6/11/21

If you are a regular reader of The New 60 Comic (and if you’re reading this blog there’s a good chance that you are indeed a regular reader) you probably wonder why everything is becoming more and more complicated. Case in point, the gender reveal party. Used to be, your kid called you and said something like, “Mom, dad, we’re pregnant!” To which you would respond, “Oh that’s great,” and you’d follow it up with, “Do you know what you’re having,” and they’d either tell you or say, we didn’t want to know, we want it to be a surprise.” SImple, right? And then once the baby was born, you could come to the hospital and figure it out the old fashioned way. But now? Noooo way. Introducing The Gender Reveal Party. Like a lot of things these days, people compete over who has the most dramatic reveal. One brilliant couple in California decided to shoot off pink fireworks to reveal they were having a baby girl. Congratulations guys. Only trouble was 1) it was in the middle of an historic drought, 2 )the temperatures were extremely hot and dry and 3) there were strong Santa Ana winds. Know what happened? They started a wildfire that burned thousands of acres of forest, forced people from their homes, and killed others who couldn’t escape fast enough. But at least they got to tell everyone they had a girl. Fortunately, we chose to make our young couple a little more responsible and just send up balloons. which are kind of dramatic, and also ensures there’ll be plenty of helium left over to inhale and enable people to speak in really high voices.

Which brings us to emotional support. With the world getting more and more complex (ever try to find a radio station on your car these days), some of us (okay,okay LOTS of us) have turned to our doctors to help us cope with anti-anxiety and anti-depression. We consume drugs as if they were giant-sized party bags of m&m’s. But what if you want a non-medical way to cope? How about an emotional support animal? These have proved very helpful to people of all ages coping with all sorts of issues. Just recently a friend of mine (who shall go nameless to protect the innocent) found out her emotional support cat was very sick. The emotional support animal now needed her emotional support. What happens if you weren’t trained as an emotional support human? What do you do then, huh? Maybe there is such a thing as an emotional support animal specifically trained to provide emotional support to emotional support animals who are suffering. Or maybe this blogger needs to find himself a real job.

Okay that’s it for this week, see you next week with two new ones. Stay safe everyone,

Andy and John

Both Ends of the Life Cycle 5/7/21

That’s convenient, now isn’t it? My daughter just had a baby a month ago and now Al’s daughter has one! Imagine the coincidence. Is it art imitating life? No, it’s just a damn good storyline. But unlike Al’s daughter, mine actually revealed her baby’s gender (a girl, Charlotte) as soon as she found out from the doctor. But John and I felt a gender reveal party was just too juicy to pass up. It’s the kind of thing that has made its way into the cultural zeitgeist, and most of us 60+ year-olds have heard of it but actually have no idea what it means. John and I actually called our daughters to get the lowdown. The bottom line is this: some people want to know the gender of their baby before it comes out, some want it to be a surprise and some want to make it an excuse for a party, or in the lexicon of today, an event. As my children used to say “In real true life,” one of these parties had a couple setting off fireworks, which led to a massive wildfire destroying thousands of acres of California. Another in Mexico just last month had a small plane flying over Mexico, set to reveal the baby’s gender. The only problem was it crashed and the result wasn’t pretty. We promise a gender reveal party somewhere down the road where nobody dies or even gets injured. But don’t ask us what the baby’s gender is because we ain’t tellin’!

The second strip is something a lot of us in this age group has gone through or is going through. It involves selling your parents’ house because either they’ve moved into an assisted living home or they passed away. Gosh this blog is very morbid today, isn’t it? John and I have both been through some form of this and everybody tells you the same thing, “Don’t get emotional. Whatever the buyer want to do with the house is up to them. It’s no longer the home you grew up in. It’s now their home.” You can nod along in agreement to this very rational piece of advice, but when the moment comes, all reason flies out the window. Marv’s interior dialogue goes something like this: “That was MY room damnit! And if I say it’s a great boy’s room, then that’s what you should use it for. I don’t care that you don’t have kids. Keep your freakin’ loom outta here and put up some posters of Jacob deGrom, okay?!” (By the way, that last piece of punctuation - ?! - is called an interrobang. John taught me that from a book about cartooning, written by Mort Walker, the creator of Beetle Bailey). At any rate, Instead of that angry interior rant, Marv just says, “Or a loom, a loom would be perfect in here.” This type of debate between the internal dialogue and what actually pours from our characters’ mouths is the type of discussion we have every week. If you know us it would come as no surprise that I would be the type to say the internal dialogue out loud whereas John would go for the second, more politic way of speaking. Since you’ve already read the comic, I guess you can figure out who won the debate for what Marv actually does say.

So that’s it for this week. Next week we’ve got another series coming up. We’ll be checking in on Sam, as he deals with the demands of being a new dad in his 60’s. The fun begins.

Have a safe, covid-free weekend and thanks for staying with us

Andy and John