Whose Line is it Anyway? 06/14/24

Ever been to Costa Rica? You can’t go there without experiencing a zip line and getting to rappel down a waterfall. Fun. Unless you’re terrified. One of us is that way. Here’s a hint: John once parachuted out of a plane. I still refuse to go off the high diving board at the local pool. As it happens, the both of us, at completely different times, went with our families to Costa Rica. You can have a beautiful vacation on the beach or you can have an eco-vacation in the rainforest. My family did a little of both. We actually had to rappel down a waterfall, each time you let go of the rope to descend you bounced your feet off the rock. And your feet got soaked because you were hitting the waterfall. Now I was wearing open-toed Keen’s sandals, a shoe that is so ugly, a female comedian friend of mine referred to them as “deal breakers.” But I digress. The point is, the looser you hold the rope, the more freely and effortlessly you descend. But if you are terrified you hold on to the rope tightly. Which results in you taking twice as long as it should and a pair of rope-burned hands. But that is nothing when compared to a zip line. For those of you who have never experienced one, you climb up a ladder perched against one tree. The trip organizers put a helmet on you, gloves to protect against those previously mentioned rope burns, and hook up your safety vest to a safety harness. In sum, you are pretty safe. The only thing you can’t do is panic and apply the brake too soon. If you do this, you won’t have enough momentum to reach the tree and platform on other side. Instead, you’ll just hang down from the middle of the rope while everyone laughs at you as you now have to propel yourself hand over hand to get to the other side. Exhausting and humiliating at the same time. Not that I’d know. So John and I thought it would be funny to have a terrified Marv have to take the zip line to get to the reception for Sid’s wedding. Our choice came to Marv and his bulk, tie flapping in the wind, vs. an older woman with a clutch and her pearls flapping in the wind. We looked at each other and decided nobody would know who that woman was (heck, we didn’t know who that woman was) and decided to have Marv go along for the ride.

Then there’s the other kind of line we like to avoid. The line at the prescription drug counter. There’s a couple of reasons we find ourselves on these lines more than we’d like. One reason is we ain’t exactly getting younger. And the other more sinister reason is we are being targeted by pharmaceutical ads. All the shows we watch, like nightly news, cable news, golf tournaments, TONY Awards, they see us coming. And every single ad is either an insurance ad or a pharmaceutical ad. And of all the pharmaceutical ads in all the world, the one that drives John, me and a host of other people crazy is the ad for Jardiance, the little pill with the big STOR-ee to tell. As far as I know, you emphasize the second syllable, sto-REE, not the other way around. In musical terms it’s a syncopation - “a disturbance or disruption of the regular flow of rhythm.” Another sterling example is the jingle for the charity Kars for Kids. They sing, “do-NATE your car today.” So one issue is how badly the songs are written and the other one is you can’t get the damn thing out of your mind. At least we can’t. So have a wonderful weekend and in an effort to get those songs out of your head, just remember, we all live in a yellow submarine.

Andy and John