BLOG APRIL 14

Oftentimes the inspiration for a comic comes from real life. Sometimes it comes from my life or John’s directly. This is one of those times. For those of you who are a bit behind on your blog reading, I was experiencing a little shortness of breath and made the (depending on how you look at it) brilliant or dumb decision to mention it to my wife. Before I knew it, she was whisking me into the big city (Manhattan) to see her (and now my) cardiologist. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but you know how they ask all these intake questions? “How tall are you?” (I say 5’6” but have apparently shrunk to 5’5”). “How much do you weigh?” (I say 164 when it’s more like 165 and possibly even 166 if you must know the absolute, unvarnished truth). But then the questions led to health, like “how many drinks do you have in an ordinary week?” and, “Do you smoke?” To which I add,

“E-cigarettes don’t count, right?” At any rate my wife Joanie set the record straight on every one of these questions. When I mentioned this to John, he knew we had a comic. And listen I’m all for turning life experiences into comics, but I don’t know if the scare and aggravation of having a stent put into one of your arteries was worth a good comic, but now that the deed is done, I’m gonna go with, yes it was worth it. Kinda.

Our other comic came right from the world of Political Correctness. It is a pet peeve of John’s and mine to hear anyone butcher the English language by saying things like “Overexaggerate” or “I could care less,” when they mean “exaggerate” or that you “COULDN’T care less.” Fair warning-we will call you on it. But equally ridiculous is this super sensitivity to politically correct language. Some of it makes a ton of sense but when one State Legislature wanted to change the term “women” to “people with uteruses,” I cringed.  We are also big baseball fans and when PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) got upset about the term “bullpen,” I rolled my eyes. For those of you who don’t know, the bullpen is where a team’s relief pitchers sit. If they are needed to enter the game in the later innings, the manager makes a “call to the bullpen.” Well PETA brought up that the term originated from the cruel sport of bullfighting, and it was offensive to (bulls???). The bulls, some of which get repeatedly stabbed by the matadors, stay in a “bullpen” until they are made to enter the ring. Okay, But PETA suggested that Major League Baseball change the term to “Arm Barn.” I kid you not. In the next few comics, we’re going to take a crack at explaining some of the new changes being suggested by the critics. Maybe you’re wondering, what does this have to do with being older? And if you’re asking, we’re answering. If you have millennial children, how many times have you heard, “You can’t say that dad (or mom). Master Bedroom connotes slavery, Indian giver disrespects Indians who aren’t Indians but Native Americans in the first place!  You get the idea. We’re just trying to perform a public service so you dear readers don’t fall into the trap of making these verbal faux pas. You’re welcome. Have a great weekend and be sure to root your favorite team on from the Arm Barn.

See you next week,

Andy and John