HAPPY 2025

You know that phrase when you’re on vacation and you have a mimosa or Bloody Mary (a kind of gross name for a drink when you think about it) for breakfast? There’s always a wiseguy who holds his glass up and says, “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere,” while taking his first drink. Well, we applied that same logic to New Year’s Eve. It’s midnight somewhere. In fact if memory serves me well (it often doesn't) John was sketching out the London Eye when we were tossing out ideas and there was our first comic. In fact it was so ingenious, my wife and I decided to try it ourselves. I had a bad cough and cold, so we cancelled our plans and stayed home. I looked up the BBC on my channel guide and saw that I had access to BBC America. Perfect! So just before 7 pm Eastern, we tuned in to see the ball drop and what was on the screen? Turns out BBC America was not on the same page. What was on? A rerun of some 60’s sitcom. Turns out we needed the actual BBC. What was our secret formula for staying up? Streaming season one of the detective series Bosch, on Amazon Prime. Finally at 11:58 we switched to network tv and rang in the New Year. Can somebody please explain the allure of Ryan Seacrest? Anybody?

Our second comic comes from a phrase John uttered that I’d never heard before. The Bar Know-It-All. I never heard the phrase but immediately knew the type. Think Cliff Clavin, the postman in the sitcom, “Cheers.” Such a colorful character, but now, thanks to the iPhone, you can either a) prove that guy wrong or b) become a bar know-it-all yourself. Admit it. How many times have you settled an argument or proved you were right by whipping out your phone? For instance you say “Did you know the Beatles only lasted 7 years after the Ed Sullivan show appearance in 1964.” In the old days you could impress your friends with archaic pieces of trivia like that. Now there’s someone who immediately pulls out their phone and either corroborates your story or proves you wrong. I have done this with more sports trivia than I care to admit. New Year’s Resolution #1: Keep my phone in my pocket. Excuse me, somebody’s texting right now.

As we celebrate the quarter-century mark it reminds me of a game I used to play. How old will I be when we hit Jan. 1, 2000? The answer was an unthinkable 46. Never did I think about how old I’d be when we hit 2025, a quarter way into the new century. You can do the math. I’d prefer not to.

Have a great holiday weekend and thanks for hanging with us all these years, And if you’re wondering what happens to the New 60 when everyone is in their 70’s, this is Comic Land, where nobody ever ages. Just ask Charlie Brown and Beetle Bailey.

Andy and John

On new technology and the New Year 1/3/20 (yeah that's right...20)

As we grow older, our priorities change. We find this to be especially true around the celebration of New Year’s Eve. When you’re a kid, you get to stay up late with the babysitter because your parents are at some party. Later you hope you can find a date so you’re not alone for the celebrations. Then if you’re lucky enough to find a date, you have to find something you can do. And afford. It’s as if you’re forced to go out and have a good time. By the time you hit your 60’s, you are likely settled down and have a party to go to. Then the worry becomes, can we stay up until midnight? That was the impetus for our Happy New Year poster (which appears second on your list today as you scroll down from the Closed Captioning comic). Andy and John separately report that they both managed to stay awake for the ball drop. And you’ll have to take their word(s) for it.

The second strip (which appears first) comes from, as Andy’s son Greg used to when he was a little boy, “Real true life.” Except this was John’s life. John sat on the remote and suddenly the Colquhoun’s were blessed with closed captioning on their tv screens. The problem was, they weren’t sure how to turn it off. As John loves to say, “hilarity ensues.”

Here’s the thing with closed captioning. It’s fine in the gym when you can’t hear the tv anyway. And it sure beats turning the tv up to ear-splitting levels. But, and we should note only Andy feels this way, it seems really old to have closed captioning on in your house, because it indicates to everyone that you can’t hear a freakin’ thing. What’s that? I can’t hear you readers out there. Can you speak up just a little louder?

It’s called the fear of getting old, and at 66, Andy still has a long way to go before he gets old…

Happy 2020 everyone and we will be back in your mailboxes next Friday.

Andy and John