The evolving bathroom 7/30/21
/Frequently, John and I will relate stories from our immediate present or past and then decide it they are comic-worthy or not. Occasionally, an idea happens that is so telegraphic, it doesn’t need any words. Such an idea happened to John and a much shorter colleague he used to work with. If you’re not a guy, you may not be aware that men’s bathrooms have urinals of differing heights. One for kids, one for adults. But there is also an unwritten rule that if more than one guy enters at the same time, whoever enters the bathroom first, goes to the furthest urinal, leaving the closest one open to the last person who comes in. There are other unwritten rules as well. Don’t ever take the urinal directly next to someone peeing, if there are more than two urinals. You leave one in between the two of you for some (imagined) sense of privacy. And then the big rule, don’t ever, ever, look down in the direction of the person standing at the closest urinal to you. Well, this particular comic happened to John and the aforementioned shorter colleague. As it is drawn. John, the significantly taller of the two, was about to pee into the kid’s urinal while his friend had to practically stand on tiptoe to get over the rim of the taller urinal. They broke the rule, took a look at each other, and switched. Wordlessly. Very funny indeed, but with no words to accompany the action, I have nothing to do with the comic except to say, “Funny idea, let’s do it.” So, I will swallow my disappointment on the comic not having any dialogue because, you know, I wouldn’t want to piss all over a great idea.
Second up in your “stream” is about a summer beach house rental that is so “smart” the renters can’t figure out how to use anything. Hint: I am living in such a rental as we speak. First of all is the toaster. It has a name, “June.” No kidding. You put an English muffin in and close the door, and a picture comes up saying “English muffin, two slices.” If you decide to toast on medium, it goes on for 4 minutes. If you don’t think it’s done enough, you push “add 30 seconds,” and after that if you are satisfied, it asks “do you want me to save the longer cooking time?” This impressed me and freaked me out at the same time. Later that same week, I went to reheat a piece of pizza in the same oven, shut the door and it said, “Pizza, one slice, thin crust.” I kid you not. But let’s get to the toilet (jeez, we’ve been speaking a lot about bathrooms today). You walk into the bathroom, and the light goes on. You walk to the toilet and the seat raises automatically. The seat, by the way, is heated. After you go, It rinses and dries your butt for you. And when you stand up again, it flushes and closes the seat for you. I explained all this to John and he said, here’s the ending, “Marv gets so frustrated he wishes he could turn the whole thing off and then, of course, the house is plunged into total darkness.” And we had ourselves another comic. None of this smart tech is an exaggeration. Which leaves me with two thoughts. First, how can I ever come back to my apartment, where you have to estimate how long to toast things all by yourself? Secondly, do you really expect me to lift my own toilet seat after all this???
Only time will tell. We will see you again next week with two new ones and until then, have a wonderful weekend.
Andy and John